


Dear Severus

by Ttiiggeerr



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Christmas Tree, Complete, Cute, Falling In Love, Fluffy Ending, Letters, M/M, One Shot, Reconciliation, Romance, Romantic Fluff, romantic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:46:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23617720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ttiiggeerr/pseuds/Ttiiggeerr
Summary: A small glimpse into our favourite boys discovering friendship in an unlikely place and starting over. Harry's written Severus several letters while waiting for the man to wake up from his coma after Nagini's attack.
Relationships: Harry Potter/Severus Snape
Comments: 6
Kudos: 176





	Dear Severus

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

Dear Professor Snape,

How could you do it? How could you go to him knowing that he would kill you? You knew, you had to have known. I expect you thought your antivenom wouldn't work, that you wouldn't have been good enough to make one strong enough for Nagini's bite. But you did. And now you're barely alive, suffering the press trying to infiltrate your ward in St. Mungo's. 

I've done my best to keep the hoards away from you. I've defended you, warded your room, kept guard over your sleeping form. And what will it get me, in the end? I imagine you scowling and scolding me for going back for you. I expect you'll scream and yell at me as best as you're able-if you can even talk at all. The healers aren't sure how much of your vocal cords were affected or how long it will take for it to heal. 

Fawkes came back to me when we first arrived here. He cried and cried over you, trying to heal you from the inside out as best as he could with his tears. He's donated countless vials of tears and feathers for the healers to use them to help you recover. He worries for you. 

I hope you wake up soon. I miss your company, as weird as that may sound to you.  
~Harry Potter

Dear Severus Snape,

I finally let Hermione convince me to shower. She sat guard over you while I took the fastest shower I've ever had-and that's saying something. The minister came later that day so I could give my statements against and for the different death eaters that have been going to trial. Most of them are going up against the dementor's kiss. I told him if they decided to hold a trial for you then they would have to convict me as well. I may not be guilty of the same crimes as you, but I have committed crimes my entire life none-the-less. If they allow me to get away with the slow murdering of someone's soul as well as all the other illegal things I've been doing since childhood then they can let you get away with doing what you had to do in order to play the part of spy as successfully as you did. I wouldn't have lived long enough to kill and we wouldn't have won the war without your intelligence. 

Don't scoff, you can just knock that shit off right now. I know you aren't used to being recognized for what you've done. But I'm doing my best to ensure that you can live in peace for the first time in your life. You above all others deserve peace. 

The papers are furious with me for not leaving this room. I've been debating releasing a public statement and having Ron and Hermione send it off to the public for me. I'm tired of the rumors, of the lies and the scandals. I'm tired of watching you twitch in your sleep and hoping that you're waking up. I'm exhausted from keeping watch over you, but I won't stop until your heart gives up or until you wake up. I won't settle for anything else. 

We have much to talk about when you do wake up.  
~Harry Potter

Dear Severus Snape,

When did I start to care for you as I do? It's been two months and the revelations just keep coming. I've cared about you being involved in my life for a few years now. Since you saved me from Remus by the Whomping Willow. You've been the only constant in my life. The funny thing about surviving the killing curse? You remember everything from that night. At least, I do. 

I remember dad yelling at mum to run, to grab me and to hide. I remember mum begging to keep me alive, anything to keep me alive. I remember her falling, I remember the bright green light being shot towards me. I can hear Sirius screaming at Pettigrew from the streets and I remember you running up the steps and falling to your knees when you saw her on the floor. You rocked her back and forth in your arms, apologizing over and over again. I didn't know what for, but I can guess now. You looked up to see me, you picked me up and held me. I don't really remember much after that, I imagine I fell asleep. But I'll never forget feeling that safe. 

You see yourself as the bad guy, but you've always tried to be my protector. I'm sure if I went back to all of my memories of Hogwarts I'd see you doing whatever you could to keep me out of harm’s way. I know you tried to counter the curse on my broom in first year, I know you were up every single night prowling around the halls to try to keep me safely in bed. You threw yourself in front of a werewolf for me, you didn't do anything other than scold me when your stolen ingredients allowed me to survive the lake in the tournament. You tried to give me more detentions than Umbridge so I wouldn't have to suffer the blood quill she wielded. The instances are countless, each one more appreciated than the last. 

You've always been my fearless protector, and now I shall stand guard over you to protect you from the vultures of our world. It's the very least I can do. 

I do hope you will find it in your heart to allow me to remain in your life when you do wake.   
~Harry Potter.

Dear Severus,

Do you think it's possible for people like us to put aside our romantic feelings because we have more we need to be focused on? I've been thinking about that a lot. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to love someone romantically. I couldn't allow anyone in before, so I never bothered to really think about it. The hard part though, is I don't really find myself attracted to anyone. There's really only one person I'm thinking of at any given moment, but you're still in your coma. Even then, they aren't romantic thoughts, just observations. I don't know what to do. People say war fucks you up, and they’re right. But it’s the aftermath, not the time on the battlefield that gets you. I wonder if it'll be easier for you knowing that it’s over or harder because you can’t drop your ever vigilant guard. I imagine you'll have just as hard of a time as me, if not more. Everyone else seems to have moved on. I can't seem to get my reflexes to allow me to relax. 

We make quite the pair, don't we? You, with your years of sarcasm and robes as shields to protect you from showing your true thoughts. Your mental shields prevent you from feeling anything other than hate and resentment. And me with my constant flinching, my distrust of any potion that doesn't have your seal on it. My worry that someone will finally succeed in doing you in, finally taking away the only person who has ever been brutally honest to me-even when I felt I didn’t need it. 

I haven't even been eating. I'm too afraid someone is trying to poison me. Will those fears ever leave?  
~Harry Potter

Dear Severus,

Hermione went to fetch your potions book from my things. She helped rebuild the dungeons after the war-it's how I knew you had antivenoms. She managed to find all of your school books that you scratched notes into. I've been reading them to keep myself from going insane. And you know what? I like this Severus. I like the one I get to see in your books. The little boy that found fascination in creating spells and had such an innate ability to comprehend potions...it's breaking my heart to see what you could be like if you'd open up just a little. 

Last night you started whispering in your sleep. The healers think you might be coming around. I can't help but think you never talked in your sleep before. You said my name. 

Why would you say my name without your normal vitriol?  
~Harry Potter

Dear Severus, 

It's been four months of this. Four months of you sleeping and healing. Four months and the healers think you'll be waking up soon. All the trials are over. Hogwarts is back to the way it was. They had to hire a new defence professor and a new potions professor as you won't be well enough to do either one this year. McGonagall and Hermione packed away your belongings and had them sent to Grimmauld place. Spinner's End...it burnt down. Someone caught wind of Draco staying there to fix the place up a bit for you before your things would arrive and they burned the place down to the ground. I'm sorry about that. It may not have been the best place for you, but it was yours. 

The healers say you'll have to have a round-the-clock caretaker. They suggested I take care of you while you're in recovery since I've been here the longest and know exactly what they've been doing and what they'll require you to do to keep yourself healthy. 

That and none of the normal caretakers wanted to deal with the remarks they know you're capable of. Personally, I don't care. 

I think, given enough time, you'll come to be a nicer man. You'll never be as nice as someone like Arthur Weasley, but I know you're a good person. If anything, your notes are proof of that.

I miss your sarcasm.  
~Harry Potter

Dear Severus,

I'll never admit this to anyone but you. I've been talking to you, every single day. When I stop your nose twitches and your fingers move just a little. When I start talking, you seem to relax ever so slightly. 

When you wake up, I want to be able to talk to you as adults. I hope you can see me for the man I've become instead of the boy I once was. Instead of the person my father was. 

This may be hard for you to believe, but I hope that you'll allow me the opportunity to get to know you as you are now. I hope one day you'll share stories of my mother with me. I know you miss her terribly. 

It's time for me to read to you once more. I've been reading you Jane Eyre. You seem to like that one best.   
~Harry Potter.

Severus felt fingers carding through his hair. It felt so nice to be able to relax for once like this. He missed having someone care for him so tenderly. He smiled and sighed before registering the parched feeling in his throat. 

"Severus?" He didn't recognize the voice, but he nodded anyway. He tried to crack his eyes open, only managing to make out a vague outline of someone next to him. 

"It's alright, Severus. I know you're thirsty, just give me one second." The figure moved from his line of vision and a straw was placed at his lips. He sipped, only getting two small gulps from it before it ran dry. His ears heard a whimper, surely that hadn't come from him. 

But then, who else could it have been?

"I know, but you have to take it slow. It's been almost five months. You'll get sick if you have too much too soon." The fingers running through his hair were back and he relaxed back into the pillows. "Can you say something?" 

"Who are you?" The voice that left his throat was rough. It was horrendously underused and sounded so very wrong to him. He tried to clear his throat and gagged at the bitter taste that came up. He recognized it immediately; it was the taste of venom.

"Relax, just spit it out." A bowl appeared next to his head and he hacked up as much of the vile stuff that he could. "It's all been neutralized, the healers just couldn't get it all out of your system completely. They were worried that if they removed it with magic, then it would end up reactivating the venom or breaking your vocal cords." As his vision cleared, he realized the figure next to him looked suspiciously like Harry Potter.

"Harry?" He struggled to catch his breath and shook his head. "We won?"

"We won, Severus. Tom Riddle lives no more. He will never live again." Relief flooded his system, a smile forming on his face for the first time since his school years. "Here, the healers don't want you to talk too much. Just read these. Hermione's supposed to be here in an hour and I haven't showered." He watched the figure stand and move to a door across the room. He heard water start not too long after before he looked down at the first letter.

He wanted to be mad. He wanted so desperately to be furious that the pain in his arse was reading his school books but he couldn't be upset. He just couldn't be mad that the man had gone out of his way to try to make the rest of his life as peaceful as possible. He wanted to hate him, but he couldn't deny that Harry seemed to care about him, however misplaced that care was. 

A young healer woman came in and smiled when she saw he was awake. 

"Good evening Mr. Snape. It's a pleasure to see you up again." She cast several complicated spells over him and tutted. "You're doing much better than we thought you would be. Can you speak?" 

"Yes, although it hurts to do so." His voice sounded better this time around, but it still hurt.

"Very good, that's much better than we thought it would be. I assume Harry gave you a few sips of water?" He nodded. "Good to know he was listening to us," she grumbled. "He'll be able to pace you through liquids and food. And it looks like you coughed up quite a bit of the venom we couldn't remove with magic. You've still got some more to go with that, but I expect you'll be rid of it completely in a week. Now, you'll feel quite weak for some time..." The door to the bathroom opened and Harry walked out in a fresh t-shirt, dripping hair and what looked to be flannel sleep trousers. 

"You're going to feel like utter shit Severus. I've gotten pretty good and decoding healer-speak. She's trying to be polite, but it's going to suck. Your muscles are going to hurt like hell until they're used to being used again since they can't block off atrophy completely and your voice...they're not sure if it'll get better. They weren't even sure you'd be able to talk at all. And your magical core is strained, it'll probably be strained for a few more months. End of story? You need someone to coddle you until further notice." The healer nodded and rolled her eyes at Harry. 

"I expect you to be able to recover from this. If not fully, then pretty close. Harry hasn't left this room since he brought you here. He's been working on ways to help you recover faster. You're in good hands with him." She left then, leaving Severus to contemplate the stack of letters and Harry who was eyeing him nervously. Harry was the first one to break the silence. 

"Look, I know you don't like it but I've been keeping an eye on you all this time. It's really best if you come to live with me while you heal."

"I wasn't going to say no in the first place. Water?" His throat hurt from underuse, but he was determined to communicate as much as he could. Harry poured him a few more sips as he struggled to sit up a bit more. The glass clunked down on the table and Harry stood. 

"Let me help you, your limbs are going to be weaker than your patience for awhile still." He allowed himself to be pulled up and rested back on the mountain of pillows gratefully before accepting the glass of water. 

"Explain." He motioned to the letters. 

"Ah, well...that was Hermione's idea. I was going crazy in here. I talked to you all the time, telling you everything in those letters over and over again. She told me to keep a journal and I tried but nothing would come. So then she told me to write you letters. She thought it would help me focus so I could address the things I needed to say. The first one was rubbish and two sheaves of parchment. I burned it. But then I decided to keep up with it. I wrote them with the intention of you reading them so you could better understand what's been going on in my head. And I didn't want to forget to tell you anything as time went on." Severus nodded and put the empty glass down on the table before glaring at the yellow daisies.

"Hermione did that. I think she noticed that I like flowers while we were...away from school. She comes in every week with new ones for me and to keep me company and catch me up on what's new in the world."

"He's truly dead?" Harry nodded. "When I'm well enough, would you allow me to see what you've done, all of it, in a pensieve?" 

"Of course. You deserve to see how it happened. To see that it truly did happen. But not until you're well enough."

Hermione arrived shortly after the healer left the room, a bouquet of white and pink tulips in tow. She stopped short at the sight of Severus sitting up in the bed, propped up by pillows and slowly sipping on some water. 

"Good evening professor. I've just come to drop these off and to say hi to Harry. Are you feeling alright?" Severus nodded and, to his dismay, he shivered. Hermione left once she switched the flowers. As soon as the door closed, Harry was up and laying a thick duvet over his legs. 

"Thank you, but you don't need-"

"Nonsense. I know I don't need to help you. I know I didn't have to stay here with you. I didn't have to go back for you, I didn't have to do anything for anyone. And yet, here we are. I'm doing these things because, believe it or not, I want to. I've done a lot of soul searching lately and I've come to understand a lot more than I did before. So you're stuck with me helping you to the best of my ability until further notice." Severus nodded, knowing that once Harry got something stuck in his head, he wouldn't give up.

"But why help me this way? I was horrible to you, what changed your mind?" Harry laughed, the sound making him warm from the inside out.

"You were a spy. And with how many people were playing on Voldemort's side in your own house, it's not surprising you had to play the jerk all the time. That was, after all, what you were known for to Voldemort. He would have known something was up if there was an inkling that you changed outside of the meetings you had to attend. You had too much of his information, he would have killed you on the spot if he so much as suspected. As for me, I was the spitting image of the one who tormented you throughout school. Of course you wanted to bash my brains in when I made sarcastic remarks. Hell, thinking back on it, even I want to bash my own skull in." He grew serious for a moment. "I am sorry about all the shit I slung your way. It must have made your job that much more difficult." 

Severus stood and hobbled to the bathroom across the hall. His left leg still refused to take all of his weight, regardless of all the exercises he did. With a wave of his wand the water turned on and adjusted to his preferred temperature of just below boiling him alive. Hot showers were a rarity for him growing up, so once he discovered the joy of it, he refused to give it up. 

He showered and dried himself down before he made his way to the stairs. He wasn't fond of the stairs, but he was determined to not let his injuries hinder his day to day life. It took him five minutes to get down the lot of them, turning towards the kitchen for breakfast. 

Harry was cooking again. Harry had cooked every lunch and dinner since he had arrived here, but had generally avoided breakfast until the last week. Severus suspected it was because he was getting used to sleeping in and was missing the meal completely.

A plate of eggs was placed in front of him, followed quickly by french toast and bacon. He practically moaned in happiness when he started in on the food and thanked the man that took the seat across from him.

"Your leg sore again today?" He nodded, too busy savoring the flavour of the homemade syrup Harry had drizzled over his meal. "I've got an idea to help that." 

He sat down on the couch as instructed and Harry sat on the floor before lifting his leg onto his shoulder and pushed the fabric from his trousers out of the way. Feeling a fierce blush creeping up, he looked away. 

"What are you doing?"

"Just trust me and relax." The smell of lavender filled the room as a scented oil was massaged into his muscles. Severus just melted as soon as Harry's fingers started moving along his muscles in his leg. They must have been that way for an hour before Harry finally set his leg back down. 

"Um, I can do your thigh too but you'll have to take your trousers off for that. Unless you don't want me to, that is."

"Would you? You wouldn't be uncomfortable with that?"

"Nah, Ron and I used to do this for each other after quidditch practice." Severus eyed the gentle blush that graced his cheeks and smiled before removing his trousers.

They continued the massaging every day for two weeks and it helped Severus make considerable progress. He was able to walk around with just a slight limp after using his leg more than he was used to and he didn't need his death grip on the railing while using the stairs anymore. He had just come downstairs for a cup of tea when he spotted Harry in the living room struggling with a pile of tissue paper. 

"What are you doing?" Harry turned, the sudden movement resulting in a spectacular fall to the floor. To his surprise, the man started laughing when a tissue mountain fell on top of him. His head popped out of the multicoloured mess.

"Well, I was trying to get the attic organized when I came across boxes labeled with mum's name and opened them up. Turns out she had given Sirius her Christmas decorations so he could store them here. As you can see, I must not get my organizational skills from her."

"Christmas is months away." 

Harry shook his head and furrowed his brows. "Severus, you spent almost six months in St. Mungo's. And you've been here ever since. It's December first today." Blinking rapidly, Severus looked out the window to see a few flakes dancing lazily to the ground. 

"So it would seem. Would you like help?" His own words took him by surprise. He'd never helped anyone decorate before, let alone for Christmas. The closest he had come was making sure the tree wasn't too close to the fireplace in the Slytherin common room.

"Sure, I'd love help. I don't even know what most of this stuff is or where it goes."

A few hours later and the entire living room was covered in greenery, sparkling fairy lights, fake snow and glitter. Harry had managed to keep all the ornaments and tree decorations in their boxes and put them in the corner of the room-presumably where he intended to put a tree. They collapsed on the couch and smiled at their work before planning to go out and pick up a tree before dinner.

Severus hung a crystal snowman ornament on the tree and glanced around the branches to watch Harry. The lights glowed softly around them, bringing out Harry's eyes and content smile. Harry turned to meet his gaze causing his heart to jump into his throat. Before he could think about what he was doing, he reached out and trailed his fingers along Harry's jaw to gently cup his face. Leaning in, ever so closely and then he paused. Their lips were just a hair's breadth apart and Harry's small gasp encouraged him to press their lips together. 

He tasted of the hot toddies they had sipped on throughout the night. It felt like home.

They parted briefly before Harry smiled and pulled them together once more. Severus didn't think he could have dreamed of a life after the war even if he had tried, so he was truly baffled as to how he managed to live and then find happiness. He smiled and embraced the gift that life had given him with welcoming arms.


End file.
